Human Hurdles: What to do about resentment.
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“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ”
― Carrie Fisher
Resentment
noun.
bitter indignation after being treated unfairly.
I leaned back in my office chair to move myself as far away from the Zoom screen as I could without actually physically leaving the room.
I shifted uncomfortably and felt my face harden and my shoulders tighten. I felt rage bubbling in my gut, like a cauldron.
I could feel my neck and my chest becoming red without even needing to see it.
I continued to listen to the man on the other end of my computer screen interrupt me and run right over my words, over and over on this call, just like he does every single call.
For the 6th time on this call.
And then the 7th.
I pulled out a post-it note and started drawing a notch each and every time he interrupts me.
I feel satisfied and continuously shocked as the notches continue to grow throughout the entire call.
For me, this has become ammo that no one cares about except my own internal fire.
Meet Jim.
Jim mansplains. A lot.
I work in technology, so this is a is fairly common occurrence. But Jim is Next Level when it comes to a lack of self-awareness.
From the first day working with him I can tell that Jim only cares about two things: having his opinion heard and looking important.
But Jim is a client, and my job is to work WELL with him.
I can be a chameleon when needed. I had tried to change my behavior a month into this consulting gig to make things more bearable for myself, but also to try and see if his behavior could shift. Even a little.
Jim isn’t interested in listening to anyone but Jim.
And so, I gave up.
And instead, I grew resentful.
What IS resentment, anyway?
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