Letter 23: That awkward feeling when you realize a mentor isn't who you thought they were.
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11 years ago I was a wee tech human in a massive world of buzzwords. I had dropped into an industry I knew absolutely nothing about.
I was so eager to learn.
I wanted to know everything and anything about the new world I was in. And I was lucky enough to experience that with David Hussman, who I had no idea was a Big Deal.
He was brilliant and funny and we were close friends, and stayed close right until the end of his life.
David was also human. And flawed.
There were moments where those flaws exploded through cracks in his armor that shattered any sort of fictional image I may have created in my head, and I learned that he was brilliant person ALSO could be a mess.
And you know what? I think that’s a good thing.
And I’m lucky for that, I think. Even if there was stuff I didn’t like I had an opportunity to say I didn’t like it - it wasn’t hidden. It existed and was out there.
Also, to be fair, the job of a mentor really isn’t to be perfect.
A mentor is, by definition, “an experienced and trusted adviser.”
He was definitely those things.
He also truly helped me believe I had a lot of potential and I could literally do anything I wanted to do.
And that’s what a mentor does, right?
Even long after my DevJam days I could email him with questions as my career evolved and he always wrote me back. Even just to say “sorry dude, super busy these days, can we do this over coffee instead of email?”
But, what about when you discover a mentor isn’t who you thought they were?
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